Delivering the perfect Best Man’s speech part 3; giving the speech.
It’s not unusual for the best man to feel more pressure than the groom on the big day; after all, all the groom has to do is wear a nice suit, get loads of presents and be showered in compliments all day.
The best man often spends the entire day with his speech looming over him like an unfriendly ticket inspector.
Get your head right
The first thing to do is correct your perspective.
Your speech isn’t a challenge to be overcome, even if it does seem daunting.
It’s a chance to celebrate your friendship in front of a group of people willing you to do well. And get in a few cheap jokes at the groom's expense if you’re lucky.
Rather than dreading the ringing of the speech bell, try and look forward to the opportunity to share some jokes with a room full of happy, tipsy, loved-up people. Picture the first laugh you’ll get and the elation you’ll feel when you’re done.
It’s difficult to overstate quite how far the deck is stacked in your favour. Everyone’s happy, celebrating and ready for the fun to begin; you start with money in the bank and you’d have to do a terrible job to squander the brownie points you’ve undeservedly accrued.
Don’t drink (too much).
A quick drink to steady the nerves is fine and will make you more relaxed.
5 drinks will make you start a fight with the wedding cake.
Know your limits and err on the safe side; it’s too easy to let nerves convince you to have a few too many, until suddenly you can’t speak and you’re trying to get off with the father of the bride.
And then you have to make a speech.
Visualise success.
If the speeches are during or after dinner, take a few minutes to gather your thoughts before you sit down.
Find a toilet, go through your speech one last time and take some deep breaths. Visualise the outcome you want - waves of laughter, maybe a couple of tears, being carried shoulder-high from the venue like some sort of God.
Learning your speech.
People often ask how they should learn their speech,
The truth is everyone learns differently, but the following process always works for me.
Firstly record your speech on your phone’s voice memo app; then you can listen back to it as many times as you like; in the gym, while you’re driving, in bed…
Keep a full-length, typed-up script to hand on the day.
Bold any important phrases or words; punchlines or sentences that need emphasis - these are the key parts of the speech to remember. Take this copy to the loo for your last pre-speech read through.
When you’re delivering the actual speech, use index cards with your key bolded points on it.
You can leave these on the table in front of you to glance at if you get stuck, but you won’t be tempted to read word-for-word.
Breath.
Hopefully you have a decent joke right at the beginning of your speech.
When you deliver it, wait for the laugh - and take a second to enjoy it - it will slow you down and let the audience know they’re in safe hands. Don’t crush it by trying to continue over the laughter.
The minute that laugh lands, you’ll naturally relax, and the chances are you’ll enjoy everything from here on in.
Take your time and enjoy your time in the spotlight. Celebrate the happiest day of your friend’s life, leave everyone feeling great and treat yourself to a drink.
You’ve got this.